Your Building Health & Mental Health

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, so it's more important than ever to find a happy medium with your neighbors.

The month of May is National Mental Health Awareness Month, and this is a topic that we have had top of mind and increasingly pertinent in recent times. It may seem unlikely that this sometimes-sensitive subject would come into play in the world of multi-family living and building projects, but when the Building Doctors here at J2 aim to make your building healthy, we never forget that what we are truly aiming to do is see to the solace of the people inside the building.

While the road to that peace of mind can be rocky and long for some associations, we know that, for the 26% of Americans living with diagnosed mental illness, the process of improving your building’s health can come with a unique set of challenges and difficulties above and beyond the common frustrations of such things. The process of gaining access to a unit to perform inspections and work, or having unfamiliar faces on-site, or general changes to day-to-day living can all cause potential distress. As an advocate for your board, association, and of course, your building, we want to be a part of guiding you on that road in any way we can while helping to show support and grace to the unique experience that everyone goes through.

With that, here are some helpful tips and advice for working with the valued members of your community who may struggle from or live with mental illness.

(Note: I am not a licensed therapist, nor a mental health professional. The information included here is meant to inform but is not a substitute for that of a licensed health care or law enforcement professional).

1. Reach In

   This seems to be less common in our post-Covid world, but taking a moment to offer a “hello” or brief conversation is a great way to pour the right foundation for peaceful interactions. This is also an important step in being able to identify if and when some of your community members may need a little extra help. While most of us don’t want to be intrusive into other’s personal business, you can’t always rely on the belief that the other party will reach out. Sometimes, you need to reach in.

2. Look for the Helpers

   Mr. Rogers once said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
   
   Your HOA is most likely a great, diverse community of people with individual lives and talents. Look for your community “helpers” and play to those strengths. At J2, we often speak to the ways our unique passions and objectives work together toward our common goals as a team. If you’ve taken some time to get to know your neighbors, likely you’ve identified some of the “people persons” who are gifted in consideration and empathy and can help by working with the community to support those in need. These don’t have to be crisis management professionals, but rather a person or people who delights in opportunities to show others that they care.
   
   If a resident is going through a hard time, sometimes it’s as simple as someone who is willing to share a cup of coffee and a kind chat or organize a meal train when needed. When a building project looms, these helpers can assist in communicating with vendors and project teams to help everyone go into the process with a good understanding that extra care may need to be used. Building a relationship of trust with one or two key members in the community can make all the difference at best and can provide a great liaison for difficult situations at least. Many HOA communities have seen success in developing a “Care Committee” of a few association members who volunteer to show support to their community. No matter how formal your process is, look to your natural “helpers” to reduce the friction of the interactions within the association.

3. Meet Them Where They Are

   It can be hard when in the throes of difficult interactions to keep this mind, but it’s important to remember that mental illness is a medical condition. While it’s important to keep safe boundaries, it’s also important to keep calm, to try not to take things too personally if possible, and to see the person behind the illness. People with mental illness may behave unpredictably and irrationally, but they still want the same peace and happiness that we all do. It is crucial to be empathetic and understanding of your mentally ill neighbor's condition. Avoid stigmatizing them or making them feel like outcasts. Instead, show compassion and offer help when necessary, and be prepared to compromise and “meet them where they are.”
   
   Rather than require them to rise to your standard of being, first work to understand what theirs is and seek to find a common ground to build from. In situations where, for example, work needs to be done in the interior of a building unit, consider where the boundaries of your mentally ill neighbor lie. During a recent J2 project, a unit resident was averse to having anyone in his unit for an inspection. By taking the time to get to know this gentleman, hear his story, and develop trust, then discussing his concerns, we were able to determine that what he would need to feel safe and comfortable with our project manager entering his unit was to wear full protective gear and walk only on specific newspaper that he himself laid on the floor. While this is an unorthodox practice for us, it seemed a simple ask and we were happy to oblige.
   
   No matter what the situation, we never forget that someone’s home is sacred and if we can, we want to engage in whatever needs to happen to ensure the comfort of residents. This also allows our work, and the needs of the whole association, to stay on track.

4. Boundaries, Clarity, Safety

   In all of our interactions with others, clear, reasonable, enforceable boundaries are vital. Knowing your boundary and setting limits and communicating properly are the two most critical things you can do for healthy interaction in difficult moments. Be direct and specific when addressing problematic behaviors.

• Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
• Avoid getting confrontational.
• Offer solutions to the problems, such as suggesting a compromise or a change.
• Follow up with your neighbor to make sure they understand and respect your boundaries and be open to understanding theirs in turn.

Of course, If you have concerns that your neighbor's behavior poses a threat to your safety or the safety of others, and they are unable to understand or respect safe boundaries, then it is essential to take safety precautions. Install security cameras in your home or condominium, and notify the police immediately if you feel they are a threat to you or themselves. It is also important to have an emergency plan in place in case of an incident. In situations where all efforts to find peaceful and reasonable means to work together have been exhausted, work with your manager, attorney, and trusted vendors like J2 to have a clear understanding of your rights and responsibilities as well as your requirements for due process. No matter what, safety should be the #1 priority above all else.

5. Education and Resource Opportunities

   Mental illness can manifest in many different ways, and it is not on any one person or neighbor community to know how to handle each situation perfectly. At J2 we have in the past communed with licensed therapists to advise on how best to work with individuals during more intrusive projects. Luckily, there are numerous resources available for helping to be proactive and prepared, but also many resources for in-the-moment crisis management. Here are some of the resources we have used, or that have been recommended to us by clients and community partners:
   
   
   1. Mental Health First Aid Classes: Much like a CPR/First Aid Class, the National Council for Mental Wellbeing offers both in person and virtual options for Mental Health First Aid Classes.
   2. Non-Violent Crisis Intervention Training: This is a course for individuals to provide the best possible Care, Welfare, Safety, and Security of disruptive, assaultive, and out of-control-individuals-even during their most violent moments.
   3. 988: In 2020, Congress designated the new 988 dialing code to be operated through the existing National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Not only does this three digit phone number work in crisis situations similar to the way we use 911, but the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) website provides a wealth of information and resources designed to help others looking for information on understanding the background, history, funding opportunities, and implementation resources for strengthening suicide prevention and mental health crisis services.
   4. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): This is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of American’s affected by mental illness
   5. Hoarding Cleanup National Directory: Hoarding Disorder is currently the most commonly identified issue in multi-family communities who struggle with mentally ill neighbors during building maintenance projects and renovations. This directory provides state by state references for companies that specialize in hoarding clean up.
   6. International OCD Foundation: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is the second most identified issue in multi-family communities building maintenance projects and renovations. This site provides resources, information and community support for individuals with OCD.
      

6. Self Care

   If you are one of the more than 1 in 4 Americans who struggles with mental illness, you are not alone. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member, and seek help from a licensed professional. If your community is in the process of renovations, remediation, or routine maintenance, and you have uncertainty and anxiety about the process, reach out to your neighbors, board, or vendors to communicate how all parties can work together to honor your needs and the needs of the association. Most importantly, keep in mind that you are seen and heard and important to those around you. At J2 our most important core value is our mission to provide help, hope, and happiness… because that’s what we all deserve.

Dealing with mental illness as neighbors in a condominium community can be a challenging situation. However, by approaching the situation with compassion, education, and communication, we can create a peaceful and supportive environment for all. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and seek support when necessary. We are all in this together and we encourage you to address the mental health in your communities from an enhancement and encourage approach rather than an enforcement standpoint.

A Closing Fun Fact: One of our original company tag lines that embodied our mission was “Restoring lives, by restoring buildings." We’ve since moved to our current mission of “help, hope, and happiness.” However, we have seen countless lives improved by taking your building from a stressful place and restoring it to new glory, and in doing so, making the lives of all involved better as well. We still believe that, in providing service to buildings, we are actually serving the people inside of them… and that’s what really matters. At this time of drawing awareness to building and resident vulnerability. It’s a great reminder that we love the building because the building holds the people. So please tell your building we said hi, we love it, and that we are pretty big fans of all the people that it holds.